


A Long Day

by Scooti



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Chapter 85 Spoilers, Fluff and Angst, Implied Levi/Erwin Smith, M/M, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-18
Updated: 2016-09-18
Packaged: 2018-08-15 19:02:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8069053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scooti/pseuds/Scooti
Summary: Jean turned face Armin, “Don’t get me wrong. I’m glad he chose you, in fact I’m beyond glad, I’m grateful. I never want to lose you. I don’t want to lose someone this close to me ever again. If I do, I don’t think I’d be able to forge another relationship like this until I’m a retired old veteran. What you and I have, Armin, is so important to me.”





	

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this at three in the morning so I apologise for any errors. This is set during/after chapter 85 so massive spoiler warning. It's really short and really gay.

Jean sat himself down next to a shirtless Armin, both their feet hanging off the edge of Wall Maria. It’d been almost half an hour since Eren and the others left to go find the basement, and hours since the two of them had last properly spoken. Jean thought it was due time to offer his company to the blonde who was likely still in shock from his most recent near-death experience.

Their position overlooked the carnage that The Beast Titan had created a mere hours earlier. Below them, they knew, were the bodies of countless soldiers who’d lost their lives in the name of a cause that was now only down to nine people. Hopelessness pumped through Armin’s veins, his mind insisting to him that this was the end of his lifelong dream. He felt sick. Of all people, he was now a titan. He would now be perfectly capable of destruction similar to that of what’s below him. That thought scared the living daylights out of him. In his opinion, no man should ever be able to hold that much power. 

Levi should have injected Erwin, not him. He was used to working under pressure, but this, this was too much. Now he carried the weight of the commander’s life. Every little decision from here on out, Armin would question if the sacrifice of the commander was worth it. He’d wonder if Erwin would’ve made a better choice in his position. 

Jean held back Armin’s hair as he threw up his last few meals over the edge, rubbing circles into his back. “Deep breathes, inhale, exhale,” He offered him the canteen, “You gonna be alright?”

“Yeah,” Armin rasped before he took a small mouthful, “Yeah,” He coughed a few times, “The weight of everything is just hitting me all at once. I’ll be fine soon.”

“Alright, just hang in there for me,” Jean gave his back two firm pats before resting his hand on his shoulder, “I’m sorry I didn’t come and talk to you earlier. I wanted to, but…”

“Yeah, I know. It’s okay. Eren and Mikasa were too preoccupied with my wellbeing that you’d barely get a word in edgewise anyway,” He let out a small laugh before taking another mouthful of water in an attempt to try and wash the taste of vomit from his mouth.

Jean cracked a smile, “They’re obsessed with you.” 

Armin spat the water out over the edge, “They think it’s their job to look after me, since I did a poor job of doing it myself when I was younger.”

“They may think it’s their job, but, man, they were ready to kill Levi to save your ass.”

“And you weren’t?”

“I would’ve gladly fought to the death, but this is The Commander we’re talking about. I couldn’t let my own personal feelings get in the way of a decision like that,” Jean took a hold of Armin’s hand and squeezed it, “Just imagine what it must have been like for The Captain. Making the decision to let someone he cares so much for die.” 

“I certainly don’t think I could have done it.”

“Me neither.”

There was a long and comfortable silence between them. Hand in hand they studied the land below them, looking for threats.

Armin broke the silence, “Do you think Levi made the wrong choice?”

There was a pause, “I don’t think that Levi’s decision is right or wrong. We’ll never know which choice will or would’ve guaranteed the best outcome. What matter’s now is that there’s nine of us stranded miles from civilisation at the place where this hell all began and we have to find a way home.” Jean turned face Armin, “Don’t get me wrong. I’m glad he chose you, in fact I’m beyond glad, I’m grateful. I never want to lose you. I don’t want to lose someone this close to me ever again. If I do, I don’t think I’d be able to forge another relationship like this until I’m a retired old veteran. What you and I have, Armin, is so important to me.” 

“I’m afraid, Jean,” Armin whispered, barely audible, “There’s no way I can do this.”

Within seconds the blonde found his body surrounded by Jean’s protective arms. “We’re all afraid, each and every one of us,” Jean mumbled into his hair, “But we have to keep going despite all odds. We’ve come this far.”

“I know we have to,” He sniffled.

“We have to keep going, otherwise the deaths of all the soldiers here today would have been for nothing,” He clenched his fist, “And there’s nothing I despise more than a pointless death.”

Armin sniffled again, clearly on the verge of tears.

“I promise you when, and I mean when, we make it back to Wall Rose we’ll return victorious. We’ve already sealed Shiganshina and soon we’ll have whatever’s in that damn basement. This won’t be for nothing. I refuse to let it be so.”

Armin curled his arms around Jean’s neck, hugging tightly and digging his face into the crook of the taller man’s neck, “Me neither.”

The two sat there in that spot on the wall for a long while exchanging the occasional kiss until Armin found himself drifting off to sleep. Hours passed as Jean watched over the war-torn countryside. The short peace was blissful and he savoured every second he could of it before the others’ inevitable return. Then he’d have some explaining to do. There was no point in hiding their relationship anymore, now that they were so few. Connie was already giving him some confused glances.

Jean let out a long sign, a sigh that he didn’t realise he’d been holding for hours. It’d been a long day.


End file.
